


Warning

by Ellynne



Series: The First Dark One and the Last [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Dark Magic, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 22:30:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5266196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellynne/pseuds/Ellynne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin's apprentice explains why he doesn't trust Nimue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Warning

I am the master’s apprentice.  If I had a name before I met the master, no one told it to me.  I was just ‘boy’ or ‘hand.’  I was hand because, when people needed an extra pair of hands, they would call for me.

Master said I would find my real name soon enough if I waited, and he was right.  But, it didn’t happen the way I thought it would.  I didn’t happen the way the master thought it would either.

There are three stories I need to tell, about the grail, Nimue, and Prometheus’ fire.  Two of these are master’s secrets.  Maybe, if I’m lucky, master will be all right and he’ll be the one to find this.  But, if he’s not, someone needs to understand. 

Master told me about the grail because I told him I hoped my name would be Ari.  I told master this because of the stars, but he didn’t know what I meant so I had to tell him.  I showed him Ari in the sky.  Master said that was the constellation called the Great Bear or _Arktos._   He asked me who had taught me my stars, but I don’t remember.  I went from village to village before master found me.  Sometimes, I had to go through fields and woods.  So, I had to know the stars.  Everyone knows, Ari—the bear—will always point you right.

Master knows lots of things, more than anyone else in the world.  He’s had a long time to learn it.  I didn’t believe the people in the town when they told me how old he was, but the master says it’s mostly true.  Because he is so old and has so many books, master knows things no one else does, though he is teaching me some. 

Some of his books are written in languages no one else knows.  He is teaching me how to read some of them.  That’s why I thought I understood when I saw him writing about someone named “Ari-metheus.”  I asked if that meant “bear-sight.”  I thought bear-sight must mean seeing the right way to go or maybe it meant some kind of guarding, because everyone knows how bears fight to protect what’s theirs.

When I asked, master looked at me funny.  He told me it meant neither. Or maybe both.  Master is always like that when you try to get an answer out of him. 

He said Arimetheus was a guardian who lived a long time ago.  That’s when he asked me if I knew what the grail was. 

Master asks questions like that.  People who’ve lived their whole lives in towns or villages know all kinds of strange things they think are important that I never knew before master began to teach me.  But, there are things people in towns—even master—never seem to know.  When I first met master, winter was coming on and I was bedding down in a muckheap.  Master saw me and asked me _why_ I was sleeping in a muckheap, like he never thought about how a muckheap is warm.  Besides, people don’t much care if you sleep in a muckheap but they’ll chase you out of their barns.

So, master wasn’t sure I would know about the grail.  I told him even _babies_ know it’s a cup with all kinds of magic that can do just about anything and let people live forever. 

Master says that’s wrong.  It isn’t _magic,_ it’s _holy._   I asked what the difference was. 

Master knows things but, sometimes, he doesn’t know how to explain them.  He tried for a long without making much sense.  Finally, he asked me, if I made a promise, if I would keep it? 

He asked because I had trouble with promises when I first met him.  Lots of people don’t keep promises.  Sometimes, people promise you food if you do some work.  Then, they say you did it wrong or throw the food to the pigs and tell you to fight them for it. 

Master says that’s wrong and a man is only as good as his word.  I think master is right.  Pig-feeders aren’t very good at all.  So, I try to be better than them.  Since master made he his apprentice, I keep any promise I make him.

Master said it’s not magic that makes you keep a promise, it’s your honor, it’s something good inside you.  Holy is like that only more.  Master says it is like the honor of the heavens.  He asked if I understood that, and I said maybe.  Master says sometimes maybe is good enough to start with.

So, the grail is holy.  He says its guardians get gifts or powers to help them protect it.  Arimetheus lived in a land master calls the Empire of the Wolf.  It was called this because it was started by two brothers, Romulus and Remus, who were raised by a wolf.  I guess they were werewolves.  Master didn’t say. For a long time, their empire was really strong and big.  Then, there was a war, and they were losing it.

Master says guardians have lots of powers but not for fighting.  It’s one of the promises they make.  They can’t use their power to kill, not ever.  Arimetheus used it to find how to get away from their enemies.  He led a lot of people to safety.  Then, he let the soldiers come after him and leave the people alone.  Master says, before the soldiers caught him, “the way opened up.” I don’t know what that means except he came here and the soldiers didn't. 

Master says there have been other guardians since Arimetheus, even if he didn’t say their names.  Master also said this story isn’t for sharing.  Like a secret, like a holy promise, it’s not for everyone.

But, I am putting it here.  I didn’t say I wouldn’t tell but I know master didn’t want me to, so it was like a promise.  But, I need to put it here.  If anything has happened to master, whoever finds this will need to know.

Maybe I’m wrong.  I hope I’m wrong.  I know master can never use his magic to hurt people, I know he has lived a long time, and I know he has taken something secret and powerful with him tonight.  There’s only one thing I think it can be, but I hope I’m wrong.  Because master told one other person about the grail.  He told Nimue.

Nimue is the second story I need to tell.  It’s not secret.  I tried to tell master, but he wouldn’t listen.  Before she came, it was just us.  There were a couple village girls who came and cleaned.  Different villagers brought us meals.  We don’t need a housekeeper.

Master thinks that’s why I’m upset.  I didn’t have a family or a home before him.  He tells me not to worry.  I’ll always be his apprentice. Nimue being here doesn’t change that.

That’s not why I don’t like her.  I just don’t trust her.  Master does.  There are lots of things Master knows that I don’t, but he doesn’t know as much about people.  He says his life was hard before he became a wizard, and I know he doesn’t lie.  But, he’s really old, even if he doesn’t look it.  I don’t think he remembers what it was like.  I think he forgets how mean people can be.  When he sees them, they want help or advice.  They want magic to heal sick people.   It doesn’t matter if they’re good or not, they’re not _stupid._   They’d have to be stupid to steal his food or kick him if he asked to be paid.  He says he worries that I don’t see the good in people.  But, I worry because he doesn’t see the bad.

Nimue showed up at the town gates.  There was blood on her dress.  The guards—it was Owain the tanner and Berwyn of North Farm, the villagers take turns—said she stared like she couldn’t even see them, like she was mad.  They brought her to the master, who gave her medicine.  After she drank it, she cried and screamed and said her whole village had been killed.  She said she knew the master was the greatest wizard alive, and he could help her.  Master asked her what she wanted him to do, and she said she wanted revenge.

I don’t know what master expected her to say.  All the townsfolk agreed with her.  They would have wanted revenge, too.

But, master was looking right at her when she said it.  I think he saw something then, the same thing I see In Nimue all the time, even if he doesn’t want to believe it. 

Whatever it was, master looked at her like what she said was a roach crawling out her mouth.  She saw the look on his face.  She saw the way he backed away from her.  I _know_ she did.  But, master didn’t see it. 

She said real fast she wanted her village to be remembered.  That was the revenge she wanted.  She showed him this flower wreath she’d been carrying.  There was lots of dried blood on it and the flowers were almost dead with half their petals gone.  She said these flowers only grew around her village.  All the rest of them had burned when it did.  If master could do something, make these grow, the village of Middlemist wouldn’t be forgotten.

So, master took the flowers and used magic.  Now, they grow around the village.  They don’t grow very well, but master makes sure some are always alive.

Master really believes that’s what she wanted from the start.  He thinks he was wrong just thinking she wanted what anybody would want when raiders kill their family and everyone they know.  _I_ would want it if raiders burned the town, and I don’t even like towns. 

But, master trusts people.  He says I need to trust more. 

Maybe. 

But, I saw the way Nimue was watching him.  I saw how fast the look on her face changed when master got sick when she talked about revenge.  But, I saw something else, too.

There was something in her eyes.  For a second, it was like it wasn’t her.  It was something else looking out of her. 

Master let Nimue stay with us.  She keeps house and makes our food.  I won’t eat it.  I pretend to but I’d dig roots and fight pigs for slop before I’d eat it.  But, I don’t have to.  Everyone here knows me.  Old ladies pinch my cheeks and offer me muffins.  If I look sad and hungry when they’re baking, they always give me some.  

Master can see the future, some of it.  I asked him what he sees around Nimue.  He says he can’t see her at all.

I’ve read master’s books.  I know the rules, some of them.  Sometimes, there are people who are too close to your own life—that’s what the books call it.  Sometimes, they have futures you can’t see.  That’s what master thinks it is.  He thinks he loves her.  He thinks she loves him.

But, the books only say _sometimes._ They don’t say _always._

I think there are ways to hide from a wizard, even a wizard like master.

That story’s not over yet, but I think it will be soon.  I’ll tell you why.  But, first, I need to tell you the third story, so you can understand.

This is the other story master told me.  Once, there were two brothers who were wizards.  One was Epimetheus.  He could see the past.  The other was Prometheus.  He saw the future.  They were both clever and powerful.  Prometheus liked to make things.  But, Epimetheus liked to travel and find out secrets.

There was also a witch.  She was called Pandora, the Gift-Giver.  She was like Prometheus.  She made all kinds of clever spells.  Pandora was going to marry Prometheus, but Epimetheus didn’t want her to.  He tried to find some magic to make her love him.  One of the things he tried was really terrible.  It’s called the Curse-of-the-Bitter-Hearted.   Master says magic can’t make someone fall in love, but it can make someone think they’re in love. 

When master told me this, I didn’t understand that.  If you think you’re in love, how’s that different from being in love?  But, now, I know Nimue.  I see master when he’s with her. 

He thinks he loves her, and he doesn’t know her at all.

Prometheus must have thought he knew his brother.  Maybe he did.  But, his brother changed.  He tricked him and trapped him.  He tied him down to an altar and was going to rip his heart out to use in his curse, only Pandora stopped him.  She had a pet songbird she turned into a giant eagle.  It attacked Epimetheus long enough for her to free Prometheus.  Together, they drove Epimetheus away.

I wish I could do that.  I wish it was that easy.  I would fight Nimue to protect master.  I would get one of the guard’s swords, or a bow and arrow, or just hit her with a rock if I thought that would stop her.  It won’t.  And master wouldn’t understand.  Not in time.

Epimetheus ran away.  But, wherever he went, he looked for secrets of dark magic.  He learned all kinds, but none of it told him how to beat his brother and get what he wanted, not till he found his way to the Underworld.

Master wouldn’t tell me much about this.  He said I could learn the whole story when I’m older.  He says there are some things I don’t need to know yet.  I told master I know a lot more than he thinks I do.  He told me I don’t know about this and he hopes I don’t for a long time.

Now, I’ve looked at Nimue and seen the thing behind her eyes.  Now, I know master was right, and there are things I wish I didn’t know.

But, all I knew then was Epimetheus did awful, terrible stuff worse than muckheaps and being beaten up by a fat farm boy who wants your last piece of bread when you haven’t eaten for three days, and he went to the Underworld. 

There was dark fire in the Underworld, fire that would die if it saw the light of day or even the light of stars and moon.  But, Epimetheus took the fire and hid it in his heart where it would be safe.  But, fire isn’t grateful.  Fire’s only hungry.  It burnt up his heart.  That’s what master said.  There was nothing left of Epimetheus except all his hate and anger and the darkness burning inside him. 

Master says he meant to let that darkness loose on all the world.  There was a spell he had to do.  I don’t know what that was.  Master wouldn’t let me that, either.  Maybe I could have warned him if I knew.  Maybe I could have shown him that Nimue’s doing the same thing.  Or almost the same thing.  There wasn’t any grail when Epimetheus tried to cast his spell.

He was stopped because Prometheus could see the future.  He saw enough to figure out what his brother was doing, and he and Pandora made a plan to stop him. 

There’s lots of stuff about magic in what happened next.  I won’t write all that here.  It’s complicated and I think master left out the parts he didn’t think I’d understand yet.  That doesn’t matter, not anymore.  If you find this in the house, if you read it, it’s too late to use that to stop her.  You need to understand the important things.

Epimetheus was dead.  That’s the most important thing to remember.  The darkness ate him up.

Prometheus made a trap.  Epimetheus—or the darkness—made an altar.  He was going to do something terrible there, a spell that would destroy all the light magic. 

But, Prometheus put thirteen stones around the place where he knew Epimetheus would work his spell.  He hid them in the earth, then called them up when Epimetheus began his magic, trapping him there.

If you know a place like that, with an altar and thirteen stones, I think that is where it started.  I think that is where Nimue is taking master.  Maybe you can stop her there, maybe not.  Maybe she will have gotten rid of the stones, but the altar will still be there.  Remember that.

There was a great battle, and the darkness filled the circle and tried to destroy all the light within it.  But, Pandora had made a magic box.  Inside it, she had hidden hope.  No matter what the darkness did, no matter how strong its spells, it could not snuff out the light of hope Pandora carried with her.

Master says that box still exists.  He said the darkness never understood what it really was.  It thought it was a trap Pandora made to hold it.  It’s not.  It’s meant to protect and hide things from the darkness, to keep them safe till it is the right time to let them out so they can help stop it. 

Inside the circle, the darkness had enough power to blot out the light of moon and stars and it had Epimetheus body to hide in.  But, when the sun came up, Pandora and Prometheus destroyed Epimetheus’ body and the darkness was driven back.

It wasn’t killed.  It still had one place it could go, one place Prometheus couldn’t destroy, the altar Epimetheus made for it.  The altar is made of black stone with red veins.  Like it is bleeding or like there is fire inside it trying to get out.

Master says no one knows where this altar is.  The place is forgotten. 

I wondered if it really was.  Wouldn’t people notice a place like that?  A place with thirteen stones and a black altar.  And, if they know about it and don’t talk about it—if there’s a reason master has never heard of it—then maybe the darkness is stronger than master thinks.  Maybe it’s hiding from him.

Master says, no.  There are spells he can do that tell him about the magic in the world.  Wherever they are, the thirteen stones still stand.  The darkness is still inside the altar.  He says he’s looked and he knows the darkness hasn’t gone outside it. 

Master can’t see Nimue, not with his magic.

I told him that.  He wasn’t angry.  I thought he would be.  He just laughed and told me not to worry about Nimue.  Besides, he said, there are other things that protect against the darkness, things they didn’t have back when Prometheus was alive.

He didn’t say the grail, but I knew he meant it.

And he has told Nimue about the grail.

These are the last things, things that aren’t stories, just pieces of what I know.

There is something called the death flower, the mistil.  I have seen it in master’s books. It has black leaves and a berry white as death.  Under the picture in the book, master had written one word, underworld.  Someone else had written, “sacrifices.” I think it is one of the things master wouldn’t talk about that Epimetheus did. 

I thought about what Nimue said her village was called, _Middlemist_.  It sounded like mistil.  That is what everyone calls the flowers she brought, Middlemist.

Master would have said I’m wrong if I told him.  Mistil isn’t Middlemist, the same way Ari isn’t bear.

I don’t have sight, not like master, but I know some spells.  I got some of Middlemist flowers and I cast a spell one on to show me the truth.  I thought I would see them turn into death flowers.  They didn’t.

I saw a girl hiding in an oak tree.  I saw raiders find her.  They kicked her and beat her.  Then, one of them drew his sword to kill her.  But, the other stopped him.  “She’s not going anywhere,” he said. “We can give her to Vortigen in the morning.”

A woman came.  I couldn’t see her face but I heard her weep when she saw the girl.  She begged someone I couldn’t see to help her heal her.

The girl wasn’t dying.  She _wasn’t._ She was hurt and bleeding but she was going to live.  But, the woman didn’t think so.

She gave the girl a white berry to eat.  First, the girl’s pain went away.  Then, she died.

The woman took a crown of flowers the girl wore on her head, Middlemist flowers, and carried it away with her.  Before she left, she dropped more berries in front of the tree.  Then, she walked away.  The berries sprouted, sending out black vines that covered the tree, strangling it.

I saw a white owl with a girl’s blue eyes sitting in the dead oak.  It looked down at me.

 _She murdered me,_ the owl said. 

“She thought you were dying,” I said.

_The shadow told her I would know pain.  The shadow told her it couldn’t keep me from dying.  But, everything that lives knows pain and everything that lives dies.  It told her the truth but it lied.  I was the third life she took that night.  It bound the darkness inside her.  It is why she is hidden from your master’s sight. The darkness wants her to set it free._

I ran back to the house, calling for my master.  He wasn’t there.  Nimue was.

I would have run out, but the door slammed behind me without her touching it.  She came at me with a knife.  It had a white blade, like bone.  The hilt was black oak but it was covered over with thin, black vines woven together. 

I think she’d been back to the tree where the girl died.  I think she made that knife from what she found there.

There was an iron pot sitting by the fireplace.  I threw it at her, whispering a spell to make it remember what it was like when it was right out of the fire and boiling hot.  That gave me enough time to get to my room and close the door.  I rammed the chair from my work-desk under the knob to hold it in place while I pulled out a piece of chalk.  Then, I drew a line and whispered a spell, trying not to notice how the door was shaking while Nimue tried to break it down.  I got out of the way in time, just as the door burst into pieces.  That’s when I tried to get out the window and couldn’t.  It wouldn’t open.

I looked back.  Nimue couldn’t get in.  I could see the dark thing in her eyes.  But, she smiled when she saw me.

“Clever,” she said.  “You had to have a steady hand to draw that in time.  You think you’re very brave, don’t you?  A little lion.”  Her eyes narrowed as she said it.  I could feel what she was doing, naming me.  I saw a woman dying.  She held a baby in her arms and whispered a name, “Little Lion,” she said.  “My Little Lion.” 

“There,” Nimue said. “Aren’t you glad?  Now, you won’t die nameless.  Darkness touched her, you know.  That’s why I know what she named you.  Little Lion.  And darkness has touched you.  Come out, Little Lion, come out and play with me.”

I could feel her spell, feel how she was using my name against me. 

But, I didn’t go.  “I’m the master’s apprentice,” I told her, fighting the thing I could feel pulling me toward the door.  “What are you?  A really awful cook who tried to read the master’s notes while you let the beans burn.  You think that makes you powerful?  You can’t even make decent slop for the pigs.  Why do you think we don’t keep any?  Master knows you’d poison them.  And you think you can cast a spell?”

“You can’t get out of the room, can you?” Nimue said, but I could see she was mad.  “Little Lion, come out.”

I felt that pull again.  It was stronger.  But, I’d made the line, and she couldn’t cross it.  “No.”

Nimue was angry, but there was nothing she could do.  Or I thought there wasn’t.

She put a little pile of white berries in front of where the door had been.  “You never eat my cooking, Little Lion.  Did you think I wouldn’t notice?  I have a special treat just for you.”  I could see her working the spell, trying to make my name part of it.  “The line you drew protects you, but, the moment you leave this room, my spell will catch you.  You will taste the berries I’ve brought for you.   I am the first person who has spoken your name since your mother gave it to you, and I have put all the power of it into this spell.  You will eat them.  It doesn’t matter that you know what they are.  You will taste the berries I’ve brought for you.

“Or, you will stay in that room, and I will take care of you when I return.  Don’t think you’re master will stop me.  He will understand soon why I’m doing this.”

That was all she said.  She left the berries there and walked away.

I am writing all this down just in case.  There’s a some magic I think can hide it so only the right person finds it.  If you found this, I’ve told you everything I know about Nimue.  I think she’s wrong.  The master’s only helping her because she tricked him.  He won’t ever “understand” why she’s doing it.  He couldn’t even understand why she wanted revenge.

But, if you find this, you’ve found the box I put it in.  I remembered what master told me about the box Pandora made.  I thought it might be one of the other things he kept hidden.  So, I found it.  I kept it with me in case I needed it.

Nimue’s wrong.  I don’t know if what she told me about my mother was true, if that was really my name or if Nimue knew it because the darkness touched her.  Nimue lies about everything.  Maybe she thought, if I believed it was my name, that was good enough.  Magic is like that.  You have to believe in it for it to work.

Anyhow, the woman Nimue showed me gave me that name for different reasons that Nimue did.  Nimue gave it to me because it’s a trap.  She wants to use it to kill me.

I know who I am.  I know the name that belongs to me.  I choose it for myself. 

I guard.  I try to find the right way and point others to it.

I am Arimetheus.

If that’s my name, Nimue’s spell won’t have any power over me.  I can walk out and burn those stupid berries of hers.

If I’m wrong—or if Nimue catches me anyway and I can’t stop her—I’ve written down what I know, about the grail, about Nimue and about the fire inside her and where it came from.

Don’t let her win.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if anyone caught the references to the Welsh myth of Lleu Llaw Gyffes, "the Lion with a Steady Hand," but he's there. So is Blodeuwedd, who goes from flowers to owls.


End file.
